Stolen from - John Dies at the End by David Wong

I started to read this novel last night when I bumped unexpectedly into the word badgerconda. Obviously such a creature is impossible to ignore so I present my badgerconda statistics below.


BADGERCONDA CR 5 (1,600 XP) 
N Large magical beast
Init +2; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, scent; Perception +13
[Defense]
AC 16, touch 11, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dex,+5 natural, -1 size)
hp 52 (5d10+25)
Fort +9, Ref +6, Will +2
Defensive Abilities ferocity
[Offense]
Speed 30 ft., burrow 20 ft., climb 20 ft., swim 20 ft.
Melee bite +11 (1d6+7 plus grab), 2 claws +11 (1d4+7)
Special Attacks blood rage, constrict (1d6+10)
[Statistics]
Str 25, Dex 15, Con 21, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 9
Base Atk +5; CMB +13 (+17 grapple); CMD 25 (can’t be tripped)
Feats Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Skill Focus (Stealth)
Skills Acrobatics +10, Climb +15, Escape Artist +6, Perception +13, Stealth +5, Swim +15; Racial Modifiers +4 Escape Artist, +4 Perception, +4 Stealth, +8 Acrobatics
[Ecology]
Environment temperate or hot forests/jungles
Organization solitary, pair, or nest (3–6)
Treasure incidental

Deep within the darkest and hottest forests and jungles stalks the most terrible of creatures ever to walk the world. The badgerconda is a terrible amalgamation on giant constrictor snake and dire badge forced together in an unholy union by twisted fleshshapers of the untamed jungle. The Yikolan tribes that fashioned these beasts used them for entertainment for decades before a particular crafty group escaped and began populating the jungle at large.

Badgercondas only seek to crush and consume any prey they come across.

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